


When the darkness falls

by Natsumi92



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Swears, Levi is depressed, Levi-centric (Shingeki no Kyojin), M/M, Manga Spoilers, Missing Moments, We miss Erwin Smith, canon-verse, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 16:25:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10790277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natsumi92/pseuds/Natsumi92
Summary: *WARNING: SPOILERS FROM CHAPTERS 84 AND 93*Levi lets his mind go by in a day particularly full of memories.





	When the darkness falls

_**When the darkness falls** _

 

 

When the darkness falls and Levi has to take the guard duty on the pier, his mind can’t help but get back to that damn day of four years ago. He lets his dark little eyes slide over the horizon, where the night sky meets, inexorably, the infinite expanse of salty water.   
  
He still hasn’t become accustomed to the idea of freedom that slowly is taking place in their lives. Since they've begun their defense plan against Marley's navy, there wasn’t a single moment’s peace. Armin has finally managed to handle the colossal titan's skills, while Eren is still struggling to deal with the two titan powers within him.

After four years, Levi keeps wondering whether his choice made sense; let his Commander go, bringing back the young Arlert, had been the most difficult and painful decision in his whole life.

So even today, when the darkness falls and Levi has to take the guard duty on the pier, he can’t help but think about the day he lost the only person he’s ever loved in his life, the only person he trusted more than himself, after Isabel and Farlan’s deaths. The only person who taught him the real meaning of freedom.   
  
When he closes his eyes and lets his mind go by, bringing back old memories that weren’t quite dormant, he still feels that low but gentle, imperious but kind voice whispers to him,  _ "Thank you, Levi." _

And when he recalls those deep and sincere blue eyes smiling candidly, he realizes that maybe, just maybe, let him go and set him free from the hell he lived in was the greatest demonstration of love that Levi could have ever done.

"Levi, it's up to me now, go get some rest" Hange's voice brings him back to reality, startling him. He glances briefly at her, before turning his attention to the horizon, where the blue of the night is slowly leaving room to the orange and yellow of the dawn.

Levi nods, slowly getting up and turning his back to the ocean.

But before he can retire into his tent, he stops, looking at the tip of his boots and carefully choosing his words.

"Today is the fourth anniversary of his death" he announces in a quiet voice, without saying who he’s referring to, because Hange knows it already. Hange always knows when Levi talks about him.

"We'll celebrate him, then. I brought some cheap booze with the intention of swillin’ it during my guard duty, but using it to commemorate Erwin will increase its value" says his second in command, waving the green bottle in her hand, a bottle that Levi hadn’t noticed before.

The man turns his torso slightly in her direction, lifting an eyebrow in a skeptical frown. "Do you drink when you're on guard? If I hadn’t known you for years, I'd already executed you."

"Hey, hey, calm down!" she replies, raising both arms in a gesture of surrender. "You know very well that I’ve a high tolerance! C’mon, bring that skinny ass over here and let’s drink in honor of Erwin."

Levi rolls his eyes, annoyed, but the hint of a smile curves his lips lightly. He gets back and sits next to Hange, who is filling carefully two glasses, god only knows where she got them.

She gives one to Levi and then puts the half-empty bottle onto the wooden floor of the pier.

Hange crosses her legs and raises the glass up, clearing her throat dramatically.

"To Erwin Smith, the only man on earth who made Levi scream in pleasur-  _ OUCH _ ! Why the hell did you punch me?!"

"Because you're shouting bullshits, shitty four-eyes."

"Excuse me, I just wanted to lighten the mood, for god’s sake. Anyway, as I was saying, to Erwin Smith, the best commander the human race could’ve ever hoped to have."

She stays still, with her arm raised, waiting for Levi to say something.

Levi closes his eyes and raises his glass, too. He feels a pain in his chest and his throat tighten, making it difficult to start talking. But, somehow, he manages to say, "I didn’t forget the promise I made to you, it’s just taking longer than I expected. I'm not going to disappoint you."   
  
And without further hesitation, the two of them clink their glasses and then throw the amber and bitter fluid down their throats.

The sun is coming up behind the horizon and Levi looks at it thoughtfully, but with a new determination in his mind.

He knows he made the right choice, that day of four years ago, or at least rationally he knows it. And he knows he’ll keep his promise, sooner or later.

Still, he can’t help it if his heart skips a beat and his throat tightens when he thinks about Erwin. The only thing he can do right now is to keep fighting and to keep making choices without regrets, hoping in a future that would’ve made Erwin proud.

**Author's Note:**

> *shows up shyly*
> 
> Uhm, hello! I'm so sorry for the angst, but after reading the last chapter, my poor fujoshi heart was aching at the thought that it's been already four years since Erwin's death (canon timeline).  
> And since the manga keeps going on about Marley's story, I wanted to celebrate the ipotetical anniversary of the handsome Commander's death with Levi and Hange. 
> 
> Sorry for the mistakes, I'm not english native and sorry for the lacking writing skills. I just wanted to write something meaningful.  
> Hope you enjoyed it anyway.
> 
> Eruri forever!  
> Natsumi


End file.
